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Kicks Keep Getting Harder to Find

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Well, I'm glad to learn you can go out for dinner in Miami Beach, party all night, and fall into a bed right there at the restaurant. Then you can awake to a waiter serving vitamin-packed drinks for your hangover.

The place is called BED: Beverage-Entertainment-Dining, which pretty much sums up the basic needs of life, doesn't it? I haven't been to BED yet. The last South Beach restaurant I dined at had a lawn for a floor. It played havoc with my date's high heels.

There was a song popular when I was in high school with a chorus that went, "Kicks just keep gettin' harder to find." That's what I think of when I hear about a restaurant with platform beds along the walls. Now, I understand beds on airplanes. If you're in the air eight or nine hours, a nap might come to mind. But if you're at a restaurant, for goodness sake, you CAN GO HOME! Or to a hotel. Why not have masseurs at the restaurant, too? Wait a minute, BED in Miami DOES offer tableside massages! OK, how about after-dinner cholesterol tests? Or, between the appetizer and entrée, mini-prep courses for the law boards?

Could BEDs be the salad bars of the new millennium? After all, the Miami restaurant is about to open in Manhattan, too. Frankly, I'm skeptical. Who wants to sleep in public? And . . . who decides what time we all have to get up?


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